Chapter 84: Battle Between Heaven and Man

After some thought, the only one who could give him advice now was Lin Qingxia—Fah Ge had already gone on his honeymoon. Xiao Ran shook his head all the way to Lin Qingxia’s house. When he saw her, his first words were, “Qingxia, I’m getting married!”
Bang! Lin Qingxia, who had been holding a glass of water in her hand, turned deathly pale in an instant. Her body swayed slightly, and the glass crashed to the ground, shattering into pieces. Seeing her utterly abnormal reaction, Xiao Ran seemed to understand something, yet also seemed to know nothing. All he could feel was a pain in his heart.
All Lin Qingxia could think of was one sentence: He’s getting married! He’s getting married! She didn’t even realize how badly she had reacted. Soon, she became aware of her mistake. The intense pain made her subconsciously try to avoid her emotions, so she hurriedly knelt down to pick up the glass shards.
Xiao Ran suddenly heard Lin Qingxia let out a soft cry as she knelt to gather the shards. Not knowing what had happened, he stepped forward, knelt down, and lifted her almost transparent hand. A small piece of glass was stuck in her fingertip. He focused intently on pulling it out and quickly put her finger in his mouth.
There they sat face to face, kneeling. Seeing the anxious and concerned expression on Xiao Ran’s face, a hint of color returned to Lin Qingxia’s pale face. She thought perhaps Xiao Ran didn’t like her, but he still cared. At this point, maybe this was all she could do to deceive herself. As for what Fah Ge had said, she no longer dared to believe it.
Looking at the distinct hint of color on Lin Qingxia’s still breathtakingly beautiful pale face, Xiao Ran was deeply captivated. Once again, they were in a tense relationship. Lin Qingxia didn’t move, Xiao Ran didn’t move. They just knelt there, staring at each other, with only each other in their eyes, as if wanting to prolong this moment forever.
If only I could stay like this forever—it would be the greatest happiness of my life! This thought lingered in Xiao Ran’s mind for a long time before he suddenly jumped up and shouted. Looking at Lin Qingxia, who was still kneeling there, staring at him blankly, he shouted again and ran away in a panic, leaving Lin Qingxia heartbroken.
I like her… I don’t like her! Xiao Ran ran away, his mind filled with these conflicting thoughts. As soon as he returned to Xiaoyao Wo, he rushed to the bathroom and splashed cold water on himself to try to clear his head.
Staring blankly at his reflection in the mirror, with water droplets flowing down his hair and face, he pressed his hands hard on the mirror and sighed heavily. He didn’t know what had just happened to him—how he could have harbored such despicable thoughts toward Lin Qingxia, thoughts of being together forever.
But… he had told himself countless times that he liked Fang Ruoxin, not Lin Qingxia. Lin Qingxia was a historical figure he respected, an actress he admired, his senior. He had never dared to have any inappropriate thoughts about her, nor could he.

Because if anything happened between him and Lin Qingxia, it would mean he had personally desecrated his own dreams, history, and the era he respected. He gritted his teeth fiercely and slapped himself several times, so hard that his face turned red from the blows. Only when he thought he had truly calmed down did he pound his chest and shout at his reflection in the mirror, “I like Fang Ruoxin, not Lin Qingxia. Everything just now was an illusion, just my wild thoughts, my improper desires.” His reflection in the mirror seemed alive, watching him quietly as droplets of water from his hair fell onto his forehead and then down his face, as if he were crying. It seemed to mock him, as if trying to prove that it was all real, staring at him coldly with a hint of sarcastic laughter in its eyes. “Damn it, I like Fang Ruoxin!” Xiao Ran could no longer bear the mockery from his reflection and shouted at it with all his strength. Though he knew it was just a projection, when he needed an enemy, someone to talk to, someone to vent on, he no longer cared if it was foolish. “Damn it, I like…” Xiao Ran slumped weakly on the wet floor, unable to say anything else. He no longer knew who he liked—Fang Ruoxin or Lin Qingxia? Who could tell him? After a long while, he made up his mind and called Fang Ruohai. He wanted to prove through marriage that he liked Fang Ruoxin, not Lin Qingxia. Though he didn’t know if this was the right thing to do, it was the only correct decision he could make at the moment… Yet after making this self-righteous decision, he curled up in pain on the floor. “A Xin, if you regret it now, it’s not too late!” Fang Ruohai looked at his sister jokingly. He suddenly envied her for obtaining happiness so easily, while his own happiness was buried under his father’s control. Fang Ruoxin had no expression on her face, her eyes showing helplessness. If Xiao Ran weren’t the only option, she would never have agreed. Still, she asked herself if she really liked Xiao Ran. The answer was no. She knew she might like him a bit, but she was by no means truly in love with him. “A Ran, you…” Liang Jiabao heard rumors and went to find Xiao Ran right away. After hesitating for a while, he finally asked, “Are you really going to marry that Fang Ruoxin? But didn’t you say you were with Lin Qing…” Hearing Lin Qingxia’s name, Xiao Ran jumped three feet in the air like a frightened rabbit and fled quickly. Leaving Liang Jiabao confused, he pondered for a long time before glancing in the direction Xiao Ran had run off to, muttering, “This is really troublesome!” Fa Ge, who was on his honeymoon, also heard the rumors and called. Just like Liang Jiabao, as soon as Lin Qingxia’s name was mentioned, Xiao Ran hung up immediately. After trying various methods without success, Fa Ge thought for a moment. He couldn’t let his good friend and confidant marry a woman he didn’t like at all.

Thinking of this, he firmly said to Chen Huilian, who was staring at him nearby, “I have to go back and persuade Aran!”
The wedding was set for three days later, as arranged by Fang Ruohai according to Xiao Ran’s wishes. There wasn’t much time left for Fa Ge, but he really didn’t need to worry about it, as Zhong Chuhong and Wei Dongling were already advising Xiao Ran to think carefully. Even Wu Yusen and Xu Ke, who weren’t quite sure what Xiao Ran was thinking, had come.
Xiao Ran’s parents and Xiao Han also arrived, reproaching him for not informing them about such an important matter as getting married. But Xiao Ran had been so overwhelmed these past few days that he hadn’t even remembered such things. Zhong Chuhong stared at Xiao Ran; perhaps she and Fa Ge were the ones who understood him best in their circle.
Staring at Xiao Ran, Zhong Chuhong sighed. No wonder Lin Qingxia had fallen in love with him despite the age difference. Xiao Ran truly had a manly charm, was very handsome, and possessed astonishing talent. In every sense, he was the ideal partner for any woman.
Most importantly, Xiao Ran was gentle and considerate—he would do anything possible for a woman. Zhong Chuhong thought that if she hadn’t known in advance that Lin and Xiao liked each other, she might have fallen for him herself.
Thinking of this, she couldn’t help but sigh again. For women in the entertainment industry like them, it was difficult to focus solely on love. If there was a huge difference in social status between husband and wife, life wouldn’t be happy either, especially when the woman had a higher status and received more attention. All they could do was ignore love and marry someone who could provide them with material happiness.
It was truly fortunate to meet a suitable man like Xiao Ran. With this thought, Zhong Chuhong even felt a bit jealous of Lin Qingxia, but she quickly dismissed it, as she was there to advise Xiao Ran: “Aran, do you really know why you want to marry that woman?”
“I like Aixin—that’s why!” Xiao Ran was extremely tired. He was grateful for his friends’ concern, but at that moment, he really wanted to find a quiet place to calm down.
“Do you really like her?” Zhong Chuhong, as if already knowing Xiao Ran’s answer, couldn’t help but mock him, “It’s pitiful. If a person doesn’t even know who they like, that’s when true pain begins, isn’t it?”
After talking with the others, Zhong Chuhong shook her head. No one could help Xiao Ran with this; they could only offer some advice from the side. After discussing it with Wu Yusen and the others, Zhong Chuhong went over to Xiao Ran. Sensing his dejected mood, her heart stirred: “Aran, decide for yourself. Anyway, we want to tell you that as a man, you should face your true feelings bravely.”
Turning to Xiao’s parents, Zhong Chuhong quietly told them about all the humiliations Xiao Ran had suffered while pursuing Fang Ruoxin, trying to use their influence as family to move Xiao Ran.

Everyone had left, leaving only Wei Dongling and Xiao Ran’s relatives. Xiao’s mother, having heard from Zhong Chuhong about the hardships her son had endured, was already heartbroken. Now, filled with anger, she stepped forward and snapped at Xiao Ran, “Aran, why do you want such a woman? I tell you, you must not marry her. Even if you do, I won’t let her set foot in this house!”
After Xiao’s mother finished scolding him, Xiao Han walked over to Xiao Ran, looking very sad, and whispered in his ear, “Brother, I don’t want that woman to be my sister-in-law. I only accept Sister Lin. If you really marry her, I’ll ignore you from now on!”
Xiao Ran was stunned. He raised his head and looked at his younger sister in confusion, not knowing what to say. His father, still silent, stepped forward, patted his shoulder, and said just one thing, “You’re grown up now. Make your own decision!”
How to decide? Xiao Ran inwardly smiled bitterly. With those words, he truly felt lost. Was he really wrong? He didn’t know, really didn’t know. All he wanted was to find a quiet place to stay for a while. Suddenly, he realized everything was utterly absurd, more exaggerated than anything in movies.
Xiao Ran apologized to Wei Dongling and tried to leave, but Wei Dongling called him back, “Where are you going?”
“To a quiet place to think about all this!” That was the only answer Xiao Ran could give—a helpless and confused one. “I think the seaside might be a good place!”
The seaside indeed was a good place, perfect for thinking or being alone. Xiao Ran sat quietly by the sea, pondering everything that had caught him off guard. He knew marriage wasn’t what he wanted, and marrying Fang Ruoxin seemed even less so.
As he thought this, Fang Ruoxin’s face in his mind gradually blurred, as if covered in mist. The mist slowly dissipated, revealing a face he was extremely familiar with—it was Lin Qingxia’s face.
He was shocked. Instantly, he remembered that script, and as if inspired, he suddenly understood. He asked himself: Could it be that he really liked Lin Qingxia rather than Fang Ruoxin? Otherwise, why was he so resistant to marriage?
But peace didn’t last long. In the darkness, he saw a tall figure approaching him. Even though it was just a vague silhouette, he recognized it as Fa Ge.
Had Fa Ge come all this way just for me? Xiao Ran smiled self-mockingly. Having such ability was what he had always desired, but sadly, this wasn’t the time to celebrate his achievements. Fa Ge didn’t say anything; he just sat beside Xiao Ran on the beach, both gazing at the distant night.
Finally, Xiao Ran couldn’t bear the awkward silence any longer. He slowly spoke up, “Fa Ge, why did you come back? Just say what you want to say!”
“I came back to see if you’re still a man!” Fa Ge’s tone was unbearably strict. Xiao Ran even thought Fa Ge might punch him without hesitation. “If you can’t even face yourself, then you’re not a man!”

Xiao Ran didn’t say much, but his mind was in chaos. Fa Ge ignored Xiao Ran; he didn’t need to pay attention to him either. All he wanted now was to express what he had felt all along: “I don’t know when you two started dating, but I know your gaze toward Qingxia is different—your attitude toward her is uniquely different. Not only can I notice it, but Hong Gu and the others know too.”

“Do you still remember that time? At the end of last year, we went to a dance party. You chose Qingxia as your dance partner…” At this point, Fa Ge couldn’t help but smile faintly. “You two acted like lovers, looking at each other tenderly, whispering in each other’s ears. In that moment, when I saw the look in your eyes and hers, I knew!”

Xiao Ran did remember that dance party. It was hosted by Hong Gu. To the rhythm of a romantic dance song, he suddenly felt bored and invited Lin Qingxia to dance with him. They talked casually about trivial matters. It wasn’t exciting, but it was pleasant and harmonious. At that moment, Xiao Ran even forgot there were other people around them.

“You two are always together. I think you really belong together!” At this, Fa Ge couldn’t help but laugh self-mockingly. “Maybe you don’t believe it, but I used to have a crush on Qingxia too. Back then, I wasn’t famous yet, not even in an artist training class. She was so beautiful that anyone could fall for her. What’s Fang Ruoxin compared to her? I thought she would be heartbroken after what happened with Er Qin and give up on love, but I never expected your arrival to change everything…”

“I like Ah Xin, not Sister Lin!” Xiao Ran emphasized his words loudly, firmly rejecting Fa Ge’s claim. He hadn’t even thought about it before.

“Really?” Fa Ge smiled slightly, like an indulgent older brother looking at a younger brother who had done something wrong. “If I remember correctly, you used to call her Sister Lin. But now tell me, how do you address her?”

Xiao Ran was stunned because Fa Ge was right. He had indeed called Lin Qingxia Sister Lin before. But ever since he started pursuing Fang Ruoxin, that title disappeared, replaced by a more affectionate term suitable for lovers.

“I’m not jealous of you because I now have love that truly belongs to me.” Fa Ge’s expression darkened as he stared into space and murmured to himself, “But I think I’ll regret the foolish things I did in the past for the rest of my life. I hurt more than one person. Fortunately, I realized it and quickly ended this harm to myself and others.”

Xiao Ran understood what Fa Ge was saying. Anyone who knew about Fa Ge’s past two relationships could tell he was repenting. Yet he heard Fa Ge gaze blankly at the sky. “It’s a pity there’s no antidote for regret. Otherwise, maybe I would choose to start over.”

Gradually coming back to his senses, Fa Ge laughed self-mockingly, looking distantly without ever daring to meet Xiao Ran’s eyes directly. “I’ve always found it interesting, at least before you started pursuing Fang Ruoxin. I don’t know if a relationship like yours, spanning such a age gap, can continue under societal pressure.”

“But after you started working with Fang Ruohai, everything changed.” Brother Fa unconsciously fiddled with the sand, letting it trickle through his fingers. “And I became even more interested in the feelings between you two. I noticed you always had reservations about your feelings for Qingxia. You liked her, but something seemed to hold you back, preventing you from showing any feelings or even admitting them.”
“I think, deep down without you realizing it, Fang Ruoxin is to a large extent a substitute for Qingxia.” Brother Fa now resembled a psychologist rather than a big star. “I admit, Fang Ruoxin is indeed beautiful, even more so than Qingxia, but she falls short in terms of temperament and personality. And it’s precisely for this reason that you treated this woman, who could compare to Qingxia, as Qingxia herself, using her to vent your feelings for her.”
“If it weren’t for that, given your personality, you would never tolerate her repeated humiliations. I think few people could endure that. Beauty is certainly attractive, but self-respect is what you truly desire!” Brother Fa’s profound tone left Xiao Ran at a loss, and his incisive insights caused him immense pain. “I really don’t understand what’s stopping you!”
“Is it age?” Brother Fa suddenly asked, though he didn’t expect Xiao Ran to answer. “Actually, Qingxia is only five years older. Society may not accept a relationship like yours, but everything can be solved. Unless you refuse to think about it, or haven’t even thought about it at all—age can never be an obstacle to love.”
Xiao Ran fell into deep silence, pondering Brother Fa’s words and wondering if he truly liked Lin Qingxia. Gazing at the night in the distance, he suddenly remembered Zhou Xingchi’s line from A King of Comedy, when he and Zhang Bozhi both gazed at the sea in the darkness.
“You can’t see anything over there…”
“Actually, you can. Once it gets light, you’ll find it’s very beautiful over there…”
The darkness was this barrier, but what exactly was blocking his thoughts? Staring across the sea, he couldn’t find an answer. But he remembered himself in his dreams—actually, he hadn’t been a fan of Lin Qingxia before; it was just a general liking, like liking any actor in Hong Kong movies. It’s just that Lin Qingxia stood out more vividly in his memory.
If Zhou Runfa was an eternal symbol of Hong Kong cinema, then Lin Qingxia was a milestone, marking the rise and decline of Hong Kong movies. From the time Lin Qingxia began her career in Hong Kong, the industry entered a period of rapid growth. By the time she retired, Hong Kong movies were on the decline.
Lin Qingxia was a recognized star—wherever there were Chinese newspapers, there were news stories about her. She was the only actor after Bruce Lee to manage to spread her influence globally. Many said that after her retirement, Hong Kong no longer had a true female star.
Xiao Ran respected her, just as he respected those who had contributed to Hong Kong cinema. But when he came here and saw Lin Qingxia in person, he knew she was extraordinary—more beautiful than he had imagined, and even more captivating.

Faced with a famous historical figure, all Xiao Ran could do was show respect, not desecrate them—at least that’s what he believed. But the real Lin Qingxia was someone no one could refuse; he fell in love with her, yet reason told him that she was a sacred historical figure who deserved respect, not desecration. He had been in this era for over two years and had mostly integrated into society, but he must not forget that history remains something difficult to confront head-on.

His choices led him to subconsciously ignore these feelings. When he met Fang Ruoxin for the second time, he instinctively saw her as a substitute—a woman whose beauty could compare to Lin Qingxia’s. He couldn’t desecrate Lin Qingxia, but Fang Ruoxin was someone he had never heard of before, so he didn’t bear such psychological burdens or immense pressure.

Most importantly, Fang Ruoxin had striking beauty that could rival Lin Qingxia’s. Unaware of it, Xiao Ran made a fatal choice. He didn’t realize that his infatuation with Fang Ruoxin was actually his love for Lin Qingxia, expressed in a more painful and obsessive way. Thus, he could endure Fang Ruoxin’s humiliations because they were a form of self-torture, and sometimes self-punishment could ease the pain.

He fell in love with Lin Qingxia, but he could never fully integrate into this society—she was sacred history to him. So, he chose to escape, not even daring to admit it. The first time he met Fang Ruoxin, he wasn’t in love with anyone yet, so he only felt awe. By the time he met her a second time, he already sensed these unusual feelings, so he instinctively chose Fang Ruoxin as a substitute and a outlet for his pain.

The most painful thing in the world isn’t not being with the one you love, but not even realizing those feelings exist. Fang Ruoxin’s humiliations couldn’t make Xiao Ran back down, because he had no way out. Once he stepped back, he would surely recognize those emotions. So, he chose to deal with Fang Ruoxin in an infantile manner that didn’t match his psychological age.

He thought of the love story he had written—wasn’t it a clone of this complex relationship? Perhaps it was because he couldn’t have those feelings that he had to record and commemorate them in another way. In truth, he had always loved Lin Qingxia; he just refused to admit it…

Suddenly, he thought he understood—why he always felt strange around Lin Qingxia, and why he also felt inexplicable pain when she was sad. He understood who flashed before his eyes that time he was with Yang Wei—it definitely wasn’t Fang Ruoxin.

How should he choose? Gazing at the night sky, he seemed to see Lin Qingxia’s pale face from the previous day, the sorrow and despair in her eyes. He wondered how he should decide, knowing that once he came here, he no longer belonged to the 21st century…

Before leaving the beach with Fa Ge, he glanced back. The sun was rising, reflecting on the sea, making everything incredibly beautiful. After the darkness passed, there was always a more beautiful sight…