Chapter 578: Only in Loss Do We Realize How Precious Things Are

Although marriage during mourning periods had always been strictly prohibited, such unions were still carried out as a way to comfort the spirits of the deceased elders. Lady Gu had anticipated that she might not live long enough to see her grandson get married, so she prepared a farewell letter in advance. Though not eloquent, it was filled with sincerity and heartfelt words. Emperor Zhu Di, recognizing her years of widowhood and her efforts in raising two generations of good descendants, ordered that the marriage take place within a hundred days. Even the most critical officials were silent in the face of this imperial decree.

With the emperor’s approval, the two families living nearby, the Marquis of Wu’an’s household and the adjacent family, had no hesitation and immediately agreed to proceed with the marriage as planned. However, since the originally chosen auspicious date fell within the first seven days of Lady Gu’s mourning period, further consultations were needed. Eventually, the wedding was set for September 28th. Meanwhile, another couple originally scheduled to marry on September 18th also postponed their wedding by a few days, finally tying the knot on September 25th.

According to Lingxi’s wishes, Lady Gu was to observe a year-long mourning period, and Peng Shisan had no objections. But Lady Wang, considering that Zhang Jiu was about to get married under auspicious circumstances, felt that this couple’s wedding should not be delayed. She personally persuaded them, and the matter was finally settled. Since Peng Shisan’s parents were no longer alive, only the Duke of Yingguo and his wife sat to witness the ceremony. Though the wedding that night was not particularly lively, it was warm and festive.

Although Lady Gu left many gifts for Lingxi and the wedding was held solemnly, it still couldn’t compare to the Zhang family’s wedding three days later. Even though the marriage took place under auspicious circumstances, the household still had to remove their mourning clothes and dress in festive attire, with only minor adjustments to the wedding decorations. All invited guests received invitations, and even those who hesitated to visit due to the Zhang family’s ongoing mourning often sent their regards despite not being present in person. All the nobles in the capital attended.

As the ceremony came to an end and the bride and groom went to their bridal chamber, Liu Sheng, the Marquis of Anyuan, and Zhang Fu, the Duke of Yingguo, who sat next to each other, whispered, “If it weren’t for intelligence suggesting that Alutai still hadn’t given up, the Marquis of Wu’an wouldn’t have to lead troops and guard Kaiping. The old lady passed away so suddenly, and it’s really unfortunate for the Marquis of Wu’an… Duke of Yingguo, to speak disrespectfully, I think there’s no need to rush. If the Marquis of Wu’an could return after a year of mourning, no one outside would have anything to say, right?”

“I’ve read Auntie’s last will. It even mentions Emperor Tang Dezong considering Zhang Maozong’s request to allow Princess Yizhang to remarry during her mourning period, which shows clearly that she was determined. If we younger ones don’t follow her wishes, we’ll only fail in our duty of filial piety,” said Zhang Fu with a sigh, then shook his head. “After a year of mourning, we can proceed without shame. It’s better than the current situation, but after all, the deceased’s wishes are more important. That was her greatest concern, so we must fulfill it for her.”

“You’re right. Seeing today’s situation, if the old lady were alive, she would surely smile.”

Marquis Anyuan Liu Sheng let out a sigh. Seeing that Zhang Fu didn’t want to talk further, he stopped prattling. Soon, the groom Zhang Jiu reappeared in the hall and began to offer drinks to everyone. Under normal circumstances, there would be plenty of noise and teasing, but everyone was mindful of the occasion, so Zhang Jiu easily passed through without any trouble, even skipping the usual chaos of the wedding night.

Though it was a joyous night, once the guests left, all the laughter and noise disappeared into the silent night, leaving only the cold moonlight. After all, it was Zhang Jiu’s wedding night, and since the first three days of mourning had passed and there was no need for vigil, Zhang Xin still insisted on staying by the spirit altar overnight. Worried something might happen, Zhang Chao and Zhang Yue simply slept in the room next to the altar.

At that moment, through the gap in the curtain, Zhang Yue looked at the lamp that remained lit in front of the altar, recalling Zhang Fu’s tears when he stayed awake to keep watch. Unconsciously, his eyes reddened again. Having just finished the wedding preparations and having to deal with many things that first half of the night, he had hardly slept at all. Naturally, his eyes felt sore and he was extremely tired. Since he hadn’t entered the main hall for several days, he thought he must find time early the next morning to check on Du Wan. Lost in thought, he fell asleep without realizing it. After what seemed like a long time, he slowly woke up to find Zhang Chao still sitting there with his knees drawn up.

“Elder brother?”

Zhang Chao had been lost in thought. Hearing this sudden call, he turned to see Zhang Yue rubbing his eyes and looking at him. He awkwardly explained, “I can’t sleep. I’m just sitting here for a while. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Tomorrow is the 37th day, and there will be another Buddhist ceremony. We need to stay alert then. If you can sleep, go ahead and rest. After all, you’re the eldest among us.”

Zhang Yue knew Zhang Chao must be troubled, but he understood even more that trying to persuade him now would be useless. So after saying just that, he went back to sleep, turning over again. No sooner had he closed his eyes than a murmuring voice came from behind him.

“As a child, grandmother always favored me and my younger brother, so I loved her the most during those times. As I grew up, I began to think she was too strict, controlling everything so tightly that one couldn’t breathe. Every action had to follow strict rules—outside, one couldn’t tarnish the family’s reputation; inside, one had to strive hard and not be lazy. Even marriage… even marriage wasn’t something I could decide on. So, although there were frequent Japanese pirate attacks during my time in Jinxiang Guard, I felt most free then.”

“The trip we took to Sishui Street before my marriage completely shattered my illusions. It turned out that living in such a prominent family truly allowed no room for any deviation from rules. I thought I had resigned myself to my fate. It wasn’t until I went south to suppress the pirates that I realized I had never truly accepted my fate—I had always been unwilling. That’s why I forgot grandmother’s teachings and your reminders, wanting only to enjoy life moment by moment.”

“Dreams are just dreams; there’s always a day when they end. When you told me the truth, the first thing that came to mind was death. I thought death would put an end to everything. I wondered why others could live as they pleased while I suffered such consequences from just one moment of indulgence. It wasn’t until the emperor summoned me that I realized divine punishment was inevitable.”

“Now that grandmother has passed away, I realize how desolate this family has become without her. I understand now that she was the backbone of our family. After that incident, I never spoke much in front of her again. Looking back, I’m such an idiot. If it weren’t for her hopes for me, she probably wouldn’t have bothered scolding me or investing any more effort in me… Grandmother, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Zhang Yue couldn’t help but turn over. Seeing Zhang Chao sitting there, tears streaming down his face, he opened his mouth but ultimately said nothing. Staring at the gloomy ceiling, he couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh.

Grandmother, if you’re watching from heaven, seeing that my elder brother truly regrets his actions, you will surely forgive him, right? No, actually, you must have already forgiven him for being reckless and impulsive. That’s why in your last letter, you only mentioned the family’s teachings of loyalty to the emperor and dedication to the country, as well as Zhang Jiu’s marriage, leaving no words about the others, because you believed everyone could manage the family well.

Early the next morning, the exhausted Zhang Zhuo and his party finally returned home. The messenger sent ahead was a former retainer of Zhang You; he rushed all the way at top speed and arrived in Nanjing almost as quickly as possible. After sending the message, Zhang Zhuo arranged for his family to escort his wife north by water, completed all his official duties, and then hurried back by land, finally arriving in the capital on the 37th day. Upon seeing the gates covered in white paper, he stumbled as he dismounted from his horse, nearly falling to the ground.
“Third Master!”
“The mourning hall—take me to the mourning hall!”
Managing to utter a few words, Zhang Zhuo let two strong gatekeepers help him toward the mourning hall. Having set out at dawn and rested only at dusk, riding nonstop and changing horses once along the way, his legs were completely raw, burning with pain with every movement. When he reached the mourning hall filled with white banners and cloth, even though he already knew the tragic news, his heart seemed to stop for a moment.
From childhood, he had not been close to his legitimate mother, Lady Gu. She considered him lazy and worthless, while he thought she was too rigid and biased. They merely maintained the superficial appearance of a loving mother and son. But as Zhang Yue grew up and their business partnership with Yuan Fang flourished day by day, their relationship finally improved. Back then, he had secretly resented her, thinking people were indeed opportunistic.
Yet without her, he might not have made it this far. He might have become a wealthy man, but he would never have been able to watch his son rise to prominence and see his family thrive. Even before, his legitimate mother had been fairly treat him as a concubine’s son—no matter which family, everyone eventually faced rise and fall, and he had no right to complain too much. And whatever he had thought before, the old man who protected the household was gone now, forever gone.
After mourning in the hall, Zhang Zhuo, with Zhang Yue’s help, went inside to change into his dusty mourning clothes. Relying on his son’s strong shoulders, he felt an unusual sense of reliability and unconsciously relaxed. When he returned to his room and saw a maid bring over coarse linen clothes, ready to change, he noticed Zhang Yue approaching with a small porcelain bottle.

Seeing Zhang Yue send the maids away, he stepped forward himself, carefully removing his clothes, and then gently applied medicine to the blisters that had formed between his legs. He felt even more relieved; the excruciating pain seemed to have diminished significantly. When Zhang Yue helped him put on the mourning clothes, he couldn’t help but firmly press his son’s shoulder. Whether in the past or in the future, his son was his greatest hope.
“Yue, now that the old lady has passed away, both your uncle and I must observe mourning. Your other uncle is away on duty, so it depends on you and your cousins to take care of the family. From now on, you will truly be a grown man!”