Chapter 48: Long Howl (8)

Inside the Mi County government office, there was a deathly silence.
Li Kuo stared blankly into the distance, his expression filled with desolation. Da Chui’s death weighed like a huge stone on his heart, crushing him with sorrow. It seemed as though towering walls of gray-green stone suddenly rose all around him, trapping him and preventing him from breathing.
The oppressive atmosphere around him was suffocating, and a deep sense of guilt lingered in Li Kuo’s heart, preventing him from finding peace.
Da Chui’s image would often appear before his eyes, especially when he felt most guilty… Every time he saw Da Chui’s honest smile, his heart would ache. It was he who had caused Da Chui’s death. If he hadn’t sent him as the vanguard, Da Chui might not have fallen for Ashina Baxie’s scheme and been killed by arrows in the flowing sand river.
Why? Why did his most trusted brother abandon him at this moment? Why did he leave him when he needed him the most?
Why? What was the reason for all this?
Bang!
In fury, Li Kuo threw the official seal of the Mi County magistrate onto the desk. The seal, carved from green jade, immediately developed a dented corner.
“Huh!”
Li Kuo closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath.
Heh, it was all his fault toward Da Chui. Would Da Chui forgive him?
“Qilang, why go to such extremes? If Brother Da Chui were alive, he wouldn’t be happy either.”
Zhou Wucui picked up the broken seal and walked over, speaking softly to comfort him. At this moment, since Qilang was in a rage, only he could talk to him.
Li Kuo suddenly raised his head and saw it was Zhou Wucui. He couldn’t help but laugh weakly. “Wucui, it’s you… Heh, it’s me who killed Da Chui. It’s me!”
He kept shaking his head, with strands of hair escaping from his hairpin and sticking to his sweat-soaked cheeks, looking utterly devastated.
“Qilang, don’t be like this! None of us wanted Da Chui to die. But he was overconfident and rushed in, falling into the enemy’s ambush. This can’t be blamed on you!”
Zhou Wucui sighed softly and patted Li Kuo’s shoulder, trying to persuade him. He had never seen Li Kuo like this. Even when they were being viciously framed by Yang Guozhong, with everyone in the court eager to harm them, Qilang had maintained an optimistic attitude, inspiring every soldier in the Tongwu Camp and Shule Army. Without his leadership, they would never have been able to get out of that predicament and reach where they were now.

And now? The fighter who once led them in unyielding resistance now feels guilty and depressed over something that wasn’t his responsibility. If he remains like this, who will avenge Da Chui?
“I know his temperament best. I shouldn’t have allowed him to take the lead. The responsibility lies entirely with me. If I had refused, none of this would have happened!”
Li Kuo stubbornly shook his head, insisting on his view.
“Nonsense!”
Zhou Wucui could no longer bear it. He grabbed Li Kuo by the collar and said, “It was his own decision. With his legs and sword in hand, even if you had refused, do you think he would have stopped? How could the elite troops of Yiluo River collapse so easily? How many battles has he fought over the years in the Tongwu Camp? Surely he knows this! If all the blame for such recklessness can be shifted onto you, I’ll be the first to disagree!”
“But I’m the commander! I should have considered his temperament. It’s all my fault; I’ve failed him!”
Tears streamed down Li Kuo’s cheeks as he shook his head desperately.
“Slap! Slap!”
The sharp sound of slaps echoed loudly in the empty county government hall. Li Kuo stared blankly at Zhou Wucui, who was furious, not knowing what to say.
Did he hit me? My best friend hit me?
Li Kuo instinctively touched his cheek, feeling the burning shame, wishing he could hide in some crack in the ground.
“Coward! You’re just a coward!”
Zhou Wucui screamed hysterically, “Most of Da Chui’s death was his own fault. Even if we have to blame someone else, it should be Ashina Baxie. What does it mean to keep taking blame for nothing? Yes! You and Da Chui were brothers, comrades. But am I not one too? Aren’t the hundreds or thousands of soldiers in the Tongwu Camp also my comrades? Even the soldiers from the Jianghuai Training Camp must have developed some affection for Da Chui after spending months together. Don’t they feel anger or hatred? But what good is anger or hatred? Will Da Chui come back to life just because we’re angry, resentful, or suffering? No, nothing will. He’s dead—dead at the hands of his arrogance, dead at the hands of Yiluo River’s cunning!”
Li Kuo was shaken by Zhou Wucui by the collar for a while before finally breaking free after hearing him out.
“You don’t understand! I and Da Chui had made a promise—to seek fame and fortune together and provide for his family. Everything was about to become reality, but then he… he…”

Li Kuo stepped back slowly, his voice growing weaker with each word, until it was barely audible at the end.
“Yes, I don’t understand. Do you understand then? Among us in the military, who hasn’t had to live on the edge of danger? Even you, Li Kuo, Li Qilang, as the commander of an army, can you guarantee absolute safety? Swords and spears have no eyes—let alone the fact that death comes from people’s hearts! Taking all the responsibility on yourself may seem noble, but in reality, it’s irresponsible toward the entire army. You’re just a selfish coward!”
Zhou Wucui refused to let Li Kuo off easy, emphasizing his words with spittle flying everywhere.
“No, I’m not a coward! I’m not a coward!”
Li Kuo shook his head violently as he stepped back, knocking over a table and falling to the ground. “Haha, I’m not a coward…”
“You said you’d avenge Da Chui, but what about now? You lock yourself here day after day, lost in thoughts of the past. Is that useful? The Yiluo River people aren’t fools—they won’t come to you willingly to offer their necks for you to cut!”
Zhou Wucui stepped forward. “Right now, the soldiers dare not disturb you, so they discuss among themselves how to avenge Da Chui. But you? By torturing yourself like this, who are you doing this for?”
After a pause, Zhou Wucui’s tone softened.
“Vengeance isn’t achieved with words—it’s achieved with the sword in your hand! Why did Ashina Baxie lure the enemy out of the city? It’s because he knew, after assessing our strength, that he couldn’t win. So he tricked Da Chui into coming out, killed him, and then immediately abandoned Mixian to retreat to Luokou Granary. Judging the situation and putting the greater good first—that’s the demeanor of a true general. Even though he’s a rebel general, I admire him!”
Zhou Wucui spat out a thick mouthful of phlegm and sat down cross-legged.
“I’m not angry because you value loyalty! After you retreated from Anxi, why did the soldiers follow you without hesitation? Isn’t it because of your loyalty? There are so many promising generals these days—how many can treat their subordinates with such sincerity? The soldiers aren’t ignorant; they know clearly what kind of general is worthy of their trust!”
Swallowing hard, Zhou Wucui continued, “But this isn’t an excuse for you to avoid your responsibilities! Loyalty is one thing, but considering the bigger picture is another. When the two conflict, the greater good must come first! Don’t forget what our mission here is. If it weren’t to capture and burn Luokou Granary to relieve the pressure on the defenders in Yongqiu, why would we bother leaving Tangzhou and travel hundreds of miles to suffer through this trouble?”

After saying so much in a row, Zhou Wucui felt his mouth and tongue dry. With a bitter smile, he shook his head and said, “Some things are better left unsaid. I won’t talk any more.” With that, he got up and walked away from the county yamen. “You decide what to do—be careful!”