Chapter 31: The Imperial Academy (5)

“Ziyan, I’m back.”
Li Zigu stepped forward gently and embraced his wife tightly.
“Sanlang, is it really you?”
Chen Ziyan lightly gathered her husband’s loose hair at his temples, speaking in a trembling voice.
“It’s me. Ziyan, I’m sorry for all the hardships these years. With the border regions in turmoil and the court in need of capable people, I…”
Chen Ziyan covered her husband’s lips with her hand and said softly, “I know. I understand everything. If the country is unstable, how can there be peace at home? You’re meant for great things, Sanlang. Don’t let worries about me hold you back.”
“How could I not think of you, not miss you? Do you know that every night, when the wind is cold and the moon is bright, I sit by the bed, reading the poems you wrote in ‘Linchuan Collection’—‘Under the moonlight, by the cold river, with red sleeves at the feast; in green robes, I walk through the lotus garden. Her delicate brows turn toward the red peonies in envy; a strand of black hair ties our fate together.’ Ziyan, you’ve captured my heart—do you really want to let it go?”
“Hmm, cough, hmm… The weather’s nice, isn’t it?”
Zhang Yanji coughed lightly and covered his mouth with a smile.
Only then did Chen Ziyan notice someone else in her household. She quickly stepped aside. Upon recognizing the speaker, she scolded, “You little rascal! Why act so serious? I was just catching up with your master, and now you disrupt everything. It’s infuriating!”
Zhang Yanji stuck out his tongue and said, “Romance is so romantic… It makes me blush.”
“You!”
Chen Ziyan bit her pink lips and stamped her foot. She couldn’t deal with this kid, so she gave up.
Seeing the awkward situation, Li Zigu tried to defuse it by pulling Li Kuo over and saying to Chen Ziyan with a smile, “Ziyan, look who’s here today.”
Reluctantly pushed forward, Li Kuo bowed to Chen Ziyan and said, “Kuo greets his sister-in-law.”
Chen Ziyan liked her nephew quite a bit. With her husband back home, she was in high spirits. She smiled warmly at Li Kuo and said, “Why such formalities among family? Sister-in-law will make your favorite sweet cheese for you today.”
“Thank you, sister-in-law,” Li Kuo replied cheerfully.
“Come inside and sit. I was so busy that I forgot about our guest outside.”
Chen Ziyan wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand and hurriedly invited them in.
One after another, they entered the hall and took their seats as host and guests. Chen Ben quickly ordered the servants to bring tea and desserts.
“Seventh son, actually, I came back this time to help you with something as well.”

Li Zigu took a gentle sip of his tea and said in a soothing tone, “As you know, the Li family is not what it used to be. Many of Second Uncle’s former students and associates have now sided with the Right Prime Minister, while our distant relatives are mostly ordinary, worldly people. You’re getting older too. If it were during the Li family’s peak, with your talents and charm, you could surely win over the hearts of many noblewomen.”

With a soft sigh, Li Zigu continued gravely, “But as a descendant of a prominent family, one cannot decide one’s own marriage. Those powerful clans value status and interests above everything else. Given the Li family’s current strength, it would be beyond our means to arrange a marriage for you with Cui Pei’s legitimate daughter. Fortunately, Second Uncle was far-sighted and arranged a marriage for you long ago—it’s with Lu Mingcui from the third branch of the Lu family of Fanyang. Actually, she’s not an outsider; by kinship, you should call her cousin!”

When Li Kuo realized his third brother had been talking about this all along, he immediately changed his attitude. “Third brother, I’m afraid I can’t agree to this. You don’t know how our uncle has treated us over the years. It’s shameful that Mother still calls him brother. Look at all the awful things he’s done!”

“Slap!”

There was a sharp sound as Li Kuo was slapped and staggered back. The young man stared in shock at his brother, unable to speak for a moment.

“After studying the classics for so many years, how dare you speak disrespectfully of your elders? Even if your uncle isn’t what he used to be, as his nephew, you shouldn’t speak ill of him behind his back.”

With another sigh, Li Zigu continued, “This marriage was arranged when you were still young. Even if he wanted to cancel it, he couldn’t bear to lose face. Second Uncle passed away early, and as the eldest brother is like a father, I must take responsibility for your marriage. As your third brother says, Mingcui also comes from the Lu family of Fanyang. Though she’s not the legitimate daughter, it will still be beneficial for your career. In the future…”

“No!”

The young man waved his sleeves frantically and stepped back quickly. “I won’t marry her! What does it matter if she’s from the Lu family of Fanyang? Where was she when I worked hard to earn money to support my family? Where was she when I had to drop out of school and endure scorn? Just because she comes from a prominent family do I have to marry her and treat her like a goddess? People aren’t animals; we don’t need noble blood or lineage!”

“You’re so stubborn. Marriage is decided by parents and matchmakers. It’s not appropriate for a girl to appear in public. Besides, you once praised Mingcui for her gentle and refined nature. This marriage alliance with the Lu family is crucial for the Li family’s revival. You have to agree!”

The young man kept shaking his head. The wounds in his heart that had just begun to heal seemed to be torn apart again, with salt sprinkled on them, causing excruciating pain that reached deep into his bones! Excuses—everything was just an excuse. Some noble ladies never stepped outside their homes, said to be gentle and refined, with family traditions rooted in poetry and propriety. All I knew was that every morning, A Tian would fry eggs for me and tap the pan on the table to wake me up; all I knew was that at night, when it was quiet, A Tian would snuggle beside me and beg me to tell her stories from The Classic of Mountains and Seas. All I knew was that during my toughest and most painful times, it was A Tian who was by my side day and night… So where were you then? If you never truly gave anything, why do you try to intrude into my life now? Third Brother has changed. He used to dote on me endlessly and never allowed anyone to speak ill of me. Today, he even slapped me over a marriage matter. Loving someone is like holding a torch against the wind—it will surely burn your hands. (Note 1) The ancients were right; I must not compromise like this. It would be unfair to A Tian, to myself, and to all these years of moments together.

Seeing her husband beat Li Kuo, Chen Ziyan quickly stepped forward to intervene. “Third Brother, why hit him when you’re talking nicely? We’re family—what problems can’t we resolve?” When her husband remained unyielding, Chen Ziyan sighed softly, took Li Kuo’s trembling hands, and said earnestly, “Seventh Brother, don’t blame your third brother. He’s doing this for your own good. The Li family isn’t what it used to be. If they want to revive and prosper, it’s up to you to take on that responsibility. Since ancient times, noble families have favored marriages—after all, it’s all about gaining official positions. I’ve met the young lady from the Lu family. Though she’s not peerlessly beautiful, she’s kind and understanding. You’re getting older too; it’s time to arrange your marriage. Among the three forms of unfilial conduct, failing to have descendants is the worst. If you get married soon, your aunt will be at peace.”

But Li Kuo laughed in anger. “You all mean well for me, these noblewomen from distinguished families. But have you ever thought about how I feel? In your eyes, a stable network of connections is the best dowry? Power and wealth attract people, but people won’t give them up easily. It’s like a blade coated in honey—it may taste good for a moment, but if a child licks it, they’ll suffer cuts. Aren’t you afraid of being harmed by it in return? (Note 2)”

Third Brother, I’ll listen to you on anything else, but not this. Absolutely not!

The young man turned and ran wildly out of the main house, his mind blank. Why? Why would my third brother, who had always loved me, sacrifice my happiness for a family alliance? Why did their eyes deem my innocent love for A Tian worthless? Family, family—was I meant to become a sacrifice on the altar of power just for the sake of it?

He didn’t understand why the world was so selfish and indifferent. Everyone seemed to wear a mask of hypocrisy, offering you a standard smile on the surface while harboring thoughts too vile to speak. His grandfather used to tell him that benevolence is love for all, righteousness is acting in accordance with what is right, the Way is following that principle, and virtue is contentment without relying on external things. (Note) But in this vast world, does there still remain any trace of benevolence, righteousness, the Way, or virtue? The scholar once said that a gentleman acts from emotion but stops at propriety. What is propriety? Is cutting off a good match for the family propriety? Is betraying loyalty for power propriety?

The young man rushed out of the Li family’s residence and began to run wildly down the streets, letting the cold wind sweep across his cheeks and mess up his hair. At that moment, he even felt a hint of disgust toward Chang’an, the city that had given birth to him and raised him. With palaces rising high in the sky and nations bowing before their rulers, why couldn’t this prosperous Tang Dynasty accommodate even a thread of affection or a proper marriage?

“Brother Kuo, wait for me! Where are you going?”

Zhang Yanji called out loudly, his voice filled with concern.

Li Kuo shook his head lightly and didn’t stop. He didn’t know where to go. Instinctively, he ran onto Qixia Street and kept running down the road, tears streaming down his cheeks. Passersby glanced at him, their expressions either puzzled or indifferent.

It seemed even heaven wanted to play a joke on the young man. What had been clear and flawless moments ago was now covered by dark clouds. A dull thunderclap sounded, and spring rain suddenly began to fall. At first it was a light drizzle, then it turned into a curtain of water, and finally it poured down like a giant water screen from the sky, creating chaos.

The noble young men who had been strolling leisurely and chatting cheerfully hurriedly lifted their robes and, with their servants surrounding them, rushed to a restaurant by the street to take shelter. Vendors selling sheep jelly and baked cakes quickly wrapped their patched-up, colorful oilcloth bundles in a layer and pushed them under the eaves of nearby teahouses to stay dry. The fortune-teller in the alley clearly hadn’t predicted rain and, watching the rain mercilessly wet his stack of raw paper, stamped his foot in anger…

But the young man didn’t stop. He didn’t dare stop. He was afraid that if he did, his third brother’s words would resurface in his mind, disturbing this hard-won peace.

The young man strode forward with all his might, letting the rain soak his robes and mud stain his boots. He felt as though the gloom in his chest was slowly dissipating. He didn’t know how long he had run or fled, but eventually he stopped in front of a teahouse, his heart still agitated.
Beneath the sign reading “Ke Long Teahouse,” A Tian held two oil-paper umbrellas, smiling sweetly at him. “You silly Xiao Qi, come inside quickly before catching a cold. I just made ginger soup, along with two Du’s fried eggs!”
Notes 1 and 2: Both are from the “Sutra of Forty-two Chapters.”