Chapter 9: The Golden Palace (III)

Silver candles emit green smoke; golden cups stand beside splendid banquets. The bright moon hides behind tall trees; the Milky Way fades into the dawn sky.
The zither plays with lively melodies; its new tunes are truly enchanting. Life is but a fleeting existence—swift as drifting smoke.

It was deep at night, yet the mansion of Lady Guo remained brightly lit. Ever since returning from the banquet at Xingqing Palace, Yang Huahua had lost all her energy. Why hadn’t that little troublemaker returned with Gao Xianzhi? Didn’t he know that someone in Chang’an had been waiting for him?

Heh, perhaps he disdained her dirty appearance. But in this city of gold, stripped of its dazzling clothes and thick makeup, where was there anything clean?
Weren’t the plaques in front of the Imperial Academy dirty? Weren’t the red gates of the ten princes’ residences dirty? Weren’t the officials in their magnificent robes in front of Daming Palace dirty? In this city of Chang’an, every grand building was riddled with the corruption of fame and wealth; every sincere young person was battered by power and money.

She was dirty; she wasn’t worthy of that little troublemaker. Yet why wouldn’t he even return to glance at her? Did he already know that secret? Impossible—no one besides the Yang family knew about it. He couldn’t possibly know.

It was fine if he didn’t return. If he didn’t come, Yang Guozhong wouldn’t have his chance, and the Emperor wouldn’t have a reason to act…
She could see from Emperor Li Longji’s expression that he still harbored resentment toward the young man. After that rumor, the wise Emperor of Tang could never escape that mindset. Yet he couldn’t simply execute the young man to relieve his anger. He feared gossip and the judgment of history. It was laughable that an emperor ended up fearing everything, living less freely than a swordsman.

What does a man hate most? A woman’s betrayal, right? Whether that little troublemaker was innocent or not, it seemed this knot could never be untied…

Yang Huahua, drunk, collapsed on the bed in her bedroom, staring blankly at the ceiling.
“Life is but a fleeting existence—swift as drifting smoke. Life is but a fleeting existence—swift as drifting smoke…”

Life is like a dream. What could she truly hold onto? Was she really reduced to having only money left?
Little troublemaker, why did you appear in my life, making hope bloom again in my once-desolate heart?
“Hold a splendid banquet beneath the flowers; fly cups as we get drunk under the moon.”

What charm remained in such a life without the one who brought joy? Now, she was nothing but a living corpse.

Thinking of this, Yang Huahua forced a bitter smile, picked up a jade pot, and poured the precious wine into her mouth. Perhaps she poured too quickly, as the wine made her cough violently, causing her to vomit even the little pastries she had eaten at the banquet.
“Madam, you must stop drinking!”
Hearing Yang Huahua’s coughing, her personal maid Yingqiu rushed in and quickly began to pat her back.
“You’ve drunk so much at today’s banquet; your stomach must be in pain. How can you drink more?”
Yingqiu snatched the wine pot from Yang Huahua’s hands and spoke to her soothingly.
“Leave me alone! Just let me die from drinking. If I die, I won’t have to stay in this world and suffer anymore!”
Yang Huahua could no longer hold back her emotions, and tears streamed down her cheeks. The once regal and dignified queen was now crying, fighting with a maid over a half-full celadon wine pot.
“Madam, why do you have to harm yourself like this? General Li and you—there’s no chance between you!”
“Clang!”
Yang Huahua was stunned as the wine pot slipped from her hands and shattered into pieces on the ground.
“Yes, there’s no chance between him and me.”
Yang Huahua shook her head with a bitter smile. “How foolish I am. He already has a wife and concubines. Who knows, he might even have someone he likes now in Shule. Where would there be room for me? He’s a great hero—only young, beautiful women are fit for him. What am I? An old woman past her prime?” “Haha, hahaha. I’m so stupid.”
Yang Huahua collapsed to the ground, shaking her head bitterly. “But why did he appear in my life in the first place? And why did he leave so heartlessly?”
“If our Tang Dynasty is to endure for generations, it must bloom amidst the chaos of time!”
She still remembered clearly their first meeting. Back then, he was just an unremarkable young man, hardly noticed by anyone. But the words he spoke at the banquet completely captivated her.
Those words were so elusive, soothing, and intoxicating…
Eighteen years ago, on a night in Bacheng County, Yuzhou Prefecture, Jiannan Circuit, a young man surnamed Pei, holding a bouquet of azaleas, spoke those words to her.
Eighteen years later, at another banquet, another handsome and graceful young man repeated those very words word for word…

She, Yang Huahua, had sworn to marry only a great hero in this life. Now that a great hero was right before her, she didn’t even have the courage to strive for him. It was because of the age difference of over a decade, and because she was from the Yang family. Heh, how ridiculous—why should her feelings be influenced by so many external factors? Was she, Yang Huahua, in the Yang family nothing but a vase for display, kept in a cabinet to be sold at a high price?

What exactly stood in the way between the two of them? Fear, perhaps, or fear deep in their hearts? If they truly dared to break free from that mental prison, no constraints in the world could stop them, right?

“Madam, if you truly have feelings for General Li, there is still a chance!”
Ying Qiu couldn’t bear to see Yang Huahua in such a dazed state, so she sighed through gritted teeth.
“What? What did you say?”
Like someone falling into a river suddenly grabbing a piece of driftwood, Yang Huahua suddenly stood up, gripping Ying Qiu’s hands tightly. “What did you just say? Is it still possible for me and him? Say it again, please!”
“Yes, but it will require General Gao Xianzhi’s help!”
Ying Qiu shook her head. “General Li is currently serving in the Anxi Army, and General Gao is his direct superior. If Madam uses General Gao to subtly express her affection for General Li, I believe he will surely understand.”
“Through Gao Xianzhi’s words?”
Yang Huahua released Ying Qiu’s hands again. “No, how can I reveal such an embarrassing matter to others? No, it’s impossible…”
“Madam, how can you know unless you try? You’ve done so much for General Li in secret—how could he not notice? In this world, what people do is watched by heaven!”
“What people do is watched by heaven?”
A cold laugh arose in Yang Huahua’s heart. If that were truly the case, why would things in this world be so twisted?