Chapter 167: Scaring the Monkeys Without Killing a Chicken

Autumn nights fall early. Though it was only the third hour of the You period, the sky was already dim. Many pine torches had been lit in the courtyard, casting bright light throughout. The autumn wind carried a deep chill, but as the wine warmed their hearts, everyone unbuckled their coats, with many even stripping off their shirts. Now, as the cold wind hit their sweat-soaked bodies, many couldn’t help shivering, yet they dared not quickly put on clothes.

Head Constable Chen was trembling so badly he could barely stand. Zhang Yue’s gaze wasn’t menacing; on the contrary, it carried a smile. But who knew what that smile meant? Of course, he knew how those three high-ranking officials—the county magistrate, the deputy magistrate, and the clerk—had commented on this new county magistrate. The point was, even if he was inexperienced, it would still be easy to crush him. Moreover, he had truly offended him badly.

Thinking this, he hesitated no longer and stepped forward, kneeling down with a thud. Since he had already bowed his head and begged for mercy before, kneeling again was nothing unusual for him. He didn’t feel embarrassed at all and simply said with a sorrowful face, “I was blind and failed to recognize your greatness. I shouldn’t have used the whip back then. I admit my fault. Please punish me however you see fit. I only ask that you show mercy and let me stay in the yamen to serve you, at least to get a meal.”

Seeing him kneel, the others also lowered their heads and knelt in despair.

Head Constable Chen’s words made no sense, but most of the people present understood. The clerks who hadn’t recognized Zhang Yue outside the yamen were astonished, thinking someone even bolder than them had dared to use a whip. The new county magistrate seemed unharmed, while Head Constable Chen and the other clerks looked battered. What was going on?

Luo Wei and Zhao Ming also came out of the banquet hall. Seeing the chaotic scene outside, they smiled mockingly, eager to watch the drama unfold. After all, these clerks were already unfamiliar with the new county magistrate. If Zhang Yue tried to assert his authority rashly, he might vent his anger today, but the subordinates would still resist inwardly. The two exchanged glances and decided to sit back and enjoy the spectacle, hoping Zhang Yue would give Head Constable Chen a good beating in his anger.

“Kneeling is worthless—get up!”

Although there were quite a few people in the hall, at that moment only their breathing could be heard. So although the shout wasn’t loud, everyone heard it. Everyone did hear it, including Chief Chen, who was kneeling on the ground, and the several constables who knelt behind him with gloomy faces, but none of them understood what those words meant. Chief Chen thought there must be something wrong with his ears and looked up at Zhang Yue, completely confused.

Didn’t this county magistrate just like to see them kowtowing and showing deference?

Zhang Yue stepped forward two steps, then irritably kicked Chief Chen in the shins with the tip of his shoe and said, “What happened during the day is one thing. You’ve already suffered enough, so that counts as punishment. I never punish the same offense twice. Let me say it again—men’s knees are worth their weight in gold. Get up!”

Having been kicked in the thigh, Chief Chen finally understood. Though he still couldn’t believe he could get away so easily, since the county magistrate had ordered him to get up twice, he dared not disobey. He quickly stood up, filled with fear, ready to endure another scolding. Yet to his surprise, Zhang Yue merely gave him a cold glance before turning to examine the messy table, frowning.

That frown wasn’t a big deal at first. He thought the magistrate thought their manners were poor and hurriedly began to explain, “Sir, my brothers…”

“All these plates are empty. It seems you consumed quite a lot during the day. Are you treating me or yourselves?” Ignoring the awkward expressions on everyone’s faces, he paused before scolding again, “Remember from now on—don’t always think about using the whip unless necessary. If you accidentally offend the wrong person, you might end up in trouble! Someone, give each table five pounds of marinated pork and two roasted chickens. How can there be enough food if not?”

Just moments ago, everyone had thought the new county magistrate didn’t seem like an easy man and was worried. But now that they heard more food would be served, their grim expressions instantly turned into one of great joy. The constables who had caught a cold from falling into the water and were struggling to hold back sneezes were overjoyed, their earlier fear forgotten. Seeing Zhang Yue turn and walk back toward the main hall, the people whispered among themselves before someone threw two large paper parcels on each table. A few still skeptical constables untied the parcels and found them to indeed contain delicious marinated meat and roasted chickens, causing an immediate uproar.

Although there was often good food and drinks, even when there was some, no one cared whether it was enough for them.

As soon as Zhang Yue said, “There’s gold beneath a man’s knees,” Luo Wei and Zhao Ming sensed something was off. When they saw him act scene after scene and then have someone bring in braised meat and roasted chicken, their hearts skipped a beat. So, when they saw Zhang Yue walking over with a smile, they immediately put on eager smiles.

“Your Excellency is truly magnanimous. In my opinion, those who dare offend such a powerful man should be given a good beating as a lesson!”

“Such troublemakers exist everywhere; who would have thought they’re also present in this yamen? If Your Excellency is still angry at them, I’ll order them to be dismissed tomorrow!”

At that moment, Zhang Yue casually waved his hand and said with a smile, “It’s all trivial matters. There’s no need to be so fussy. A lesson is enough. I’m not the kind of person who holds grudges. Besides, I’m new here and everything is unclear. For official matters, I need your help, and for civil matters, I rely on you two. Everyone knows their own business. I’m not good at handling other things randomly. Go ahead and do whatever you want; I’ll just act as the manager!”

If Zhang Yue had said this earlier, Luo Wei and Zhao Ming might have believed it to some extent. But after seeing his behavior just now—clearly decisive and resourceful—they didn’t dare believe such nonsense. They agreed verbally, and as Zhang Yue walked away, the two exchanged a secret signal. The two officials brought along as guests also felt honored. Plus, after drinking a few cups, they became more talkative once they sat down again. Ma Cheng kept pouring them drinks, mostly sitting there silently like a mute.

At that day’s welcome banquet, the officials were well-fed and drunk, with several important figures so tipsy they could barely walk. The county assistant and clerk were subordinate officials to the county magistrate, while the judicial officer was the chief official, also residing in the yamen. Someone helped them head home, while Peng Shisan went to support Zhang Yue and lead him to the back office. A few nosy officials watched Peng Shisan’s tall frame and strong muscles, and seeing him carry someone without any effort, they marveled in secret.

After passing through the three halls and seeing no one around, Peng Shisan glanced around and said with a smile, “Young master, everyone’s gone. Stop pretending! I’ve seen you drink cup after cup—how can you still pretend to be drunk?”

“I’m new here, and the inner courtyard isn’t peaceful at all. They seem determined to get me drunk—how can I not prepare? It’s just a small trick; if I expose it now, things will get difficult later.” Zhang Yue still let Peng Shisan carry him as they walked. The three main rooms were not far away, and the two maids forced on him by Ma Cheng were waiting at the door. He felt a headache coming on and asked in a low voice, “Lao Peng, how many more days until Qiuhen Hupo and the others arrive?”
“There are still big suitcases, and after all, a carriage isn’t as convenient as riding a horse. It’ll take at least three more days,” Peng Shisan replied, also noticing the two maids. He then chuckled and asked, “What plans do you have for tonight, young master?”
“What plans? Of course, I’ll go straight to bed once I get back! You just have to go to the trouble of putting on a stern face, don’t be nice to those two maids. Once I’m settled down, stay outside and watch—surely they won’t dare do anything improper.”
Peng Shisan almost laughed out loud. He slowed his steps even more and warned in the lowest voice, “Young master, you’re already sixteen—quite grown up. It’s not bad to relax occasionally.”
Although most of the alcohol had been prevented from entering Zhang Yue’s system through his tricks, he still drank several cups that day. Fueled by anger and embarrassment, he blurted out something he would never normally say: “If I’m to relax, it depends on who it is. Those are two women with unknown backgrounds! They’re not even as good as Qiuhen Hupo’s little finger—I still have enough self-control!”
“So, if Miss Qiuhen and Miss Hupo were here, you might just give in?” Peng Shisan, used to Zhang Yue’s calm expression, seized this opportunity not to let go and added, “I’ll remember that. As soon as those two arrive tomorrow, I’ll go tell them right away—they’ll be overjoyed!”
“Peng Shisan!”
Furious, Zhang Yue punched Peng Shisan’s back hard, only to realize he couldn’t affect those iron-like muscles at all. Giving up on this futile attempt, he thought he’d find another way to punish him tomorrow. At the door, he let the two maids help him into the room. As soon as his head touched the pillow, he felt relieved and fell asleep in no time. He could still hear Peng Shisan’s rough scolding in the background.

That night, Peng Shisan, the door god, sat cross-legged at the entrance of the three main rooms. The two maids taking turns keeping watch inside heard snoring coming from the beds; they stared at each other wide-eyed, thinking of the stern-looking giant outside, and neither could fall asleep. At midnight, one maid quietly got up and went outside. As soon as she opened the door, she saw Peng Shisan turning his head, his bell-like large eyes glaring at her. Frightened, she quickly closed the door and turned to see the mocking face of the other maid. Despite this, both were filled with shame and anger—if they could hold out today, could that giant really stay here forever?