Chapter 693: Li Fei’s Beauty Contest

“Damn it, where the hell is land? I’m about to pass out!”
Just as a sea storm ended, Li Fei Yuanli’s pained screams could be heard over the ocean. They had set sail from Yangzhou’s naval port with 300 large ships carrying 2,000 soldiers and a vast amount of porcelain. After a month and a half at sea, they arrived near the Malacca Strait only to be hit by a violent storm.
Although the fleet survived the storm, the soldiers were utterly exhausted. Li Fei Yuanli suffered immensely—he had just begun to get used to sailing and was full of confidence when the storm struck.
As the sun rose over the sea, two crew members supported him as he stared despairingly at the vast ocean. “Weren’t you guys saying there was land here? Where is it?”
All he could think about now was getting ashore to rest for a few days and recover. He had never endured such suffering in his life.
“Land!”
Suddenly, the lookout on the mast pointed ahead and shouted, “Look! There’s land!”
Li Fei Yuanli’s eyes widened like eggs, his eyeballs almost popping out as he frantically searched for the land from his dreams. Finally, he saw it—a dark line appearing on the horizon. With a shout of “Ha!”, he jumped up, but the ship swayed, causing him to lose his balance and fall face down on the deck. Still, he cried out in excitement, his voice echoing across the sea: “Oh, my goodness! Land at last!”
The soldiers and merchants in the cabin heard that land was in sight and rushed outside, their cheers filling the deck.
A group of merchants surrounded Li Fei Yuanli. One of them introduced himself, “This is the entrance to the Malacca Strait—a narrow strait. To the north is the kingdom of Langya Xiuxiu, and to the south is Srivijaya, the most powerful nation in this region. General Li Fei, we beg you to stop in Srivijaya for a day so we can exchange goods.”
There were over a hundred merchants among them, all from Persia, Arabia, and Sogdiana. When the fleet stopped in Guangzhou for supplies, they heard the ship was heading to Sindh, so they bribed Li Fei Yuanli to let them board. He accepted thousands of coins in bribes and agreed readily.
Most of these merchants brought goods like silk and porcelain, which they would sell at high prices in the Southeast Asian islands before purchasing spices to sell back in Persia and Arabia for huge profits. In this way, they made two trips per journey. Since Srivijaya was a major power in the Southeast, they never missed such an opportunity.

Hearing that there were such countries, Li Fei Yuanli grinned and said, “Are there any beautiful women there?”
“Yes! Yes! The women here are very attractive and wonderful. Their buttocks and breasts are sure to please the general.”
“Great!” Li Fei Yuanli waved his hand. “Then let’s go ashore and pick out some beauties to keep us entertained on the way.”
Although the An army had strict discipline, in this remote place far from the imperial court, Li Fei Yuanli’s lustful nature came to the surface.
After being on the ship for so long, the soldiers were bored out of their minds. Of course, they needed to rest and have some fun, but fun wasn’t possible without women. Understanding his subordinates, Li Fei Yuanli did to them what he wanted others to do to him. He accepted thousands of taels in bribes, which he used to let the soldiers enjoy the company of the island women.
Li Fei Yuanli immediately ordered that each of the 2,000 soldiers be given three taels to go ashore and find women or buy things as they saw fit. The soldiers cheered immediately. Although some officers thought it was inappropriate, they didn’t dare anger Li Fei Yuanli and had no choice but to allow the soldiers to go ashore, with the more cautious ones staying on the ship.
Srivijaya was what is now the island of Sumatra, the largest country in Nanyang. Many merchants went to the Tang Dynasty to do business, and there were also many people from the Tang Dynasty living in this area, who had come from the Lingnan region.
The land seen by the Tang army’s fleet was Bangka Island, not far from the capital of Srivijaya, Pelabuhan Buluh. Srivijaya covered the entire island of Sumatra, stretching thousands of li from east to west and north to south. Its capital, Pelabuhan Buluh, was located near what is now Palembang in Indonesia and was the largest port in Nanyang at that time. Those who came from the Tang Dynasty to make a living first settled in Pelabuhan Buluh.
The Tang army’s fleet had never been to Pelabuhan Buluh, but these foreign merchants were well-acquainted with the area. Under their guidance, the Tang fleet bypassed Bangka Island and arrived at Pelabuhan Buluh, by which time it was already afternoon.
Although Pelabuhan Buluh was the largest city in Nanyang, it was only relatively so. The port wasn’t large enough to accommodate the 300 large ships of the Tang army. Fortunately, it was a natural bay, so the large ships anchored there, while the soldiers took small boats to reach the port. Only Li Fei Yuanli’s flagship went ashore.
Pelabuhan Buluh was a bustling port city located at a strategic point for maritime trade between the east and west. Re-export trade was thriving here, with merchant ships from the Tang Dynasty, India, and Arabia gathering together. It had a population of over a hundred thousand and Buddhism was widespread.
The arrival of the Tang army’s fleet alarmed the people of the entire city. Thousands of small vendors rushed out of the city, selling various local specialties and tropical fruits to the Tang soldiers. Many prostitutes from the city also came out to compete for customers. The docks were filled with noise and chaos, a scene of great excitement.

Li Fei Yuanli had also landed. He stood on the dock, grinning broadly. Fosi Port was much better than he had imagined—vibrant and bustling, with plumper women, though their dark skin was a slight drawback.

“General, someone is looking for you!”

A soldier led several men over. They were all dressed in fine attire and wore the black leather boots of the Tang Dynasty, a sign of status. Most of the locals were short and dark-skinned, but among them was a man in white who resembled a Han Chinese.

They stepped forward and bowed to Li Fei Yuanli. The man in white said, “Welcome to Fosi Country, Tang army!”

His Mandarin was flawless. Li Fei Yuanli was surprised. “Are you from the Tang Dynasty?”

The man in white smiled and nodded. “I’m originally from Quanzhou. My name is Lin You. I moved here with my family three years ago.”

He then pointed to a burly man with a serious expression behind him and introduced him, “This is Prince Dando. The others are the chiefs of this city. They’ve come here especially to pay their respects to the general.”

“Oh! How kind of you.”

Li Fei Yuanli had no interest in engaging in high-level diplomacy. He was just here to find women and let his men have some fun before leaving. He had no desire to deal with the local court. Feeling a headache coming on, he looked around for a scapegoat but saw none. Grumbling under his breath, he forced himself to say, “We were heading to Sindh when a storm blew us here. We’ll rest for a day and leave tomorrow.”

Lin You translated this for the prince. The prince’s tense expression immediately relaxed. After all, two thousand soldiers landing would make any country nervous. He smiled and bowed, saying, “The Tang Dynasty and we are friendly nations. We’re willing to offer any assistance.”

After hearing the translation, Li Fei Yuanli’s eyes lit up, and he said shamelessly, “I was wondering if the prince could provide a few beautiful women to relieve the fatigue of the journey, hehe!”

Lin You was stunned. He couldn’t believe what he heard—asking for women outright was a disgrace to the Tang Dynasty!

He didn’t dare translate this and instead said to the prince, “The Tang soldiers want to experience the local culture, watch performances, and such. This general is a bit homesick. He hopes the prince can provide some skilled cooks so he can taste delicious food.”

The prince laughed heartily and patted his chest. “No problem! I’ll arrange it right away!”

“What did he say?” Li Fei Yuanli asked eagerly.

“The prince said it’s no problem and promises to satisfy the general.”

Both of them burst into laughter and hugged each other. The prince then turned and left, while Li Fei Yuanli entered the city with great enthusiasm. As it was the capital, its city walls were made of baked bricks and were quite low, only fifteen feet high. The entire city was roughly equivalent to a medium-sized county town in the Tang Dynasty. Most people lived in low wooden houses outside the city, while inside the city, there were tens of thousands of people, also mostly living in wooden houses with sloping roofs, about a foot above the ground. It seemed that heavy rains often occurred here. The streets were wide, with residential houses densely packed along both sides of the main roads. There were also brick-built structures, namely temples and palaces. Shops lined both sides of the streets, selling goods from various places such as the Tang Dynasty, India, and Arabia. Most customers were from other cities within the country, as well as people from Langya Xiuguo on the Malay Peninsula, along with many Arabs and Tang Dynasty merchants. The currency used was mainly Tang coins. However, the Tang Dynasty’s recent large-scale recruitment of sea ships had affected local business, leaving many shops relatively quiet. The arrival of Tang army soldiers was undoubtedly very welcome by the merchants. In addition to receiving three strings of coins as a reward from Li Fei Yuanli, the Tang army soldiers brought their own money. Coupled with the low prices here, they spent generously, winning over the merchants’ favor. Almost whenever a Tang army soldier appeared, they would compete to attract him with various tactics. Taverns and brothels were part of humanity’s common cultural heritage. There were already dozens of taverns in the city, all crowded with Tang army soldiers, filled with noise and clamor. The seven or eight brothels in the city were even more busy, mostly reserved by Tang army soldiers. Of course, Li Fei Yuanli would not compete with his comrades for customers; he simply wandered around to see the city’s atmosphere before returning to the ship to wait for the beauties sent by the prince. The scenery in the city was dull, with many temples, but he didn’t believe in Buddhism and found it boring. Seeing that it was getting late, he returned to the ship to drink and eat. Upon returning to the ship, a personal guard immediately reported that the prince had sent three women waiting in the front cabin. Li Fei Yuanli was overjoyed and rushed to the front cabin. But the messenger whispered to him, “General, it seems the women sent aren’t very good!” “Ah! You don’t understand. It’s about having charm—only charming women are the best. The prince’s taste is excellent.” He pushed the messenger aside and rushed into the front cabin excitedly. But as soon as he entered, he was stunned. There were indeed three women, but they were fat, dark, short, and ugly. Worse still, they were all in their forties or fifties—far from the beautiful ladies he had imagined. “General, they do have a scent… a strong scent all over them,” the messenger complained behind him.

Li Fei Yuanli’s intense desires were doused by a bucket of cold water. He immediately became furious and angry, his eyes blazing with rage. Turning around, he cursed, “Damn it! Daring to mock me? I’ll destroy your worthless country!”
In fact, these three women were famous cooks in the palace. The prince had good intentions, hoping to promote normal cultural exchange between the two countries, and rejected Li Fei Yuanli’s malicious thoughts. Unexpectedly, they encountered a representative of such malicious ideas within the Tang army.
It was all the translator’s fault!
Furious, Li Fei Yuanli rushed onto the deck. By then, it was already getting dark. Suddenly, noise came from the dock. A group of Tang soldiers returned, carrying several stretchers, their faces filled with anger.
“What happened?” Li Fei Yuanli demanded sharply.
One of them reported, “General, several of our men were injured in the city, and their knives were stolen.”
Li Fei Yuanli became even angrier. “What! Daring to bully my Tang army? Damn it! Order all my men to return and get ready to attack the city!”
At that moment, a deputy general stepped forward to advise, “General, let’s find out what really happened before acting. Maybe it’s our fault.”
Actually, Li Fei Yuanli wasn’t reckless. He was capable of handling matters alone and had even reached the high position of governor of Beiting in history. He was an ambitious person who didn’t like to settle for status quo. Li Qingan appointed him as the governor of Xinde precisely because he hoped Li Fei Yuanli would continue to expand into Tianzhu—a wise choice. But Li Fei Yuanli had two weaknesses: he was lustful, putting women first and career second, and he was also protective of those under him, often shifting blame onto them even when they made mistakes.
Although it seemed like the anger was triggered by the injured soldiers, it wasn’t actually the case. It was the three cooks who made him furious.
He ignored the advice of his subordinates. Since he couldn’t find a reason to attack the country, and now the soldiers had been injured, he immediately ordered them to return to the ship.
By then, the situation became clear: three of his soldiers, drunk, had harassed a noblewoman’s concubine, angering the officials who then secretly ordered their men to attack the three Tang soldiers, injuring them and stealing their knives.
Soon, all the soldiers who had gone into the city returned. Li Fei Yuanli ordered the entire army to don armor, equip themselves with spears and bows, and line up on the dock ready for action.
Seeing that the situation might escalate, his subordinates quickly summoned Wei Qingping. Wei Qingping, appointed by Li Qingan as the chief administrative officer of Xinde, was the highest-ranking official in the region. He had fallen ill due to seasickness. Hearing that Li Fei Yuanli planned to launch an attack to destroy the country, he rushed over, despite his illness, to try to persuade him.

“General Li Fei, this isn’t a big deal. Why ruin the friendly relations between the two countries?” Wei Qingping pleaded with him. “General, just explain things to them and compensate them with some medical expenses.” Although Li Fei Yuanli was unruly, he feared Li Qingan the most. He was afraid that Wei Qingping would tell Li Qingan about this, so he had no choice but to hold back his anger and say, “Alright! I’ll give this sir some face and them a chance.” Li Fei Yuanli slammed the table and shouted, “Go and deliver a message to them—have their king come out and apologize, hand over all the murderers, and pay ten thousand guan in money along with twenty beautiful women. I’ll let it go this time, otherwise, I’ll destroy their country!” Hearing his rude words and the demand for women, Wei Qingping frowned and said, “General, shouldn’t you be more careful with your words?” This was already Li Fei Yuanli’s greatest concession, yet Wei Qingping still wanted him to watch his wording. Unable to tolerate it any longer, he growled, “I’m a rough man who only speaks plainly. Send the message exactly as written, not a word changed.” Wei Qingping, a scholar facing a warrior, had no way to argue effectively. He bit his lip and said nothing more. The bodyguard wrote the letter, went ashore, and found a local merchant to take it into the city. By then, the Tang army was fully prepared—1,800 infantrymen and 200 cavalrymen. Li Fei Yuanli’s men were all elite cavalry, and though they were reluctant to part with their horses, they could only bring over 200 of them. So they drew lots, and more than 200 warhorses were selected, forming a cavalry force of 200 men. Although most were infantry, the Tang army had cavalry crossbows, long spears, and battle knives, and they were well-organized and powerful. Li Fei Yuanli also came ashore wearing armor, riding on his warhorse with a sword in hand, followed by five generals who also rode on horses. The Tang army’s sudden change in tactics caught the kingdom of Fosi off guard. King Subili urgently ordered the city gates to be closed and summoned his ministers to discuss a strategy, but they faced a dilemma—the noble who caused the trouble was the king’s uncle, Sutanli. They certainly couldn’t hand over their king’s uncle! At this point, the ministers split into two camps. Prince Dando advocated calming things down by going out of the city to apologize, offering 1,500 taels of gold in compensation and handing over the men who had committed the attacks. As for Li Fei Yuanli’s demand for twenty beautiful women, Prince Dando didn’t take it seriously—there was no way they could agree to everything. But King’s uncle Sutanli insisted on punishing the rude Tang army, arguing that they had first harassed his concubine and deserved to be hurt. Moreover, with only 2,000 soldiers, the Tang army was far outnumbered by the 10,000 troops in his city—why should they yield to them?

King Subili was not afraid of the Tang army before him but rather feared that the Tang Dynasty would send troops to demand punishment. After much thought, he decided to follow Prince Dando’s advice and apologize to the Tang army to seek peace. As the king, he naturally wouldn’t go and apologize himself, so he sent the prince to negotiate on his behalf. The city gates opened, and a group of several hundred people left the city. Funan was rich in gold, and several attendants carried chests containing 1,500 taels of gold, along with various seafood and coconut wine, to reward the Tang army. Prince Dando led the way, accompanied by the interpreter Lin You. Lin You was somewhat terrified; he knew full well that the anger of the Tang army’s commander was likely related to his translation. The commander wanted beauties, but he had translated it as cooks. Of course, he would never admit it was his fault. Prince Dando stepped forward, clasped his hands, and bowed to Li Fei Yuanli, saying, “I come on behalf of the king of Funan to offer our sincerest apologies. Please accept our deepest apologies.” After Lin You finished translating, he waved his hand, and several attendants carried the chests of gold. When the chests were opened, they revealed a sea of gold. Prince Dando glanced at Li Fei Yuanli with pride—this was 1,500 taels of gold, far more than the 10,000 guan he had asked for. Yet Li Fei Yuanli remained expressionless; he didn’t even glance at the gold. With 2,000 soldiers behind him, how could he lose face over just 1,000 taels of gold and still maintain his authority in the army? Seeing that the other party wasn’t swayed by the gold, Prince Dando felt awkward and signaled his attendants to bring in large amounts of seafood and coconut wine. Finally, three thugs were brought forward. Dando bowed and said, “These are the three murderers. We hand them over to the Tang army for punishment. The rest of the seafood and wine are just a small token of our gratitude to reward the Tang army. Please accept them!” Li Fei Yuanli stared at the three murderers. He had already asked his injured comrades, who said they had been attacked by over twenty men, ordered by a middle-aged, chubby man who seemed to be a nobleman, with a black birthmark under his right eye. According to the locals, this man was the king’s uncle. As for these three, they were thin and small, dressed in identical short black outfits—clearly thugs. Use them as evidence to convict someone? Li Fei Yuanli sneered, pointed at the three with his sword, and said, “You underestimate the Tang army too much. With just these three wretches, how could they hurt our comrades? Let me tell you—I won’t accept your apologies. I don’t want thugs, nor do I want women. Hand over that king’s uncle, the real culprit, and I’ll let it go. Otherwise, I’ll crush your worthless country!”