Volume 1: Unsayable Chapter 95: The Foolish Man

All the immortals were stunned speechless. Even the defeat of Tathagata earlier had surprised them somewhat; but this… this was the solemn and proper Lord Laozi—how could he have become so absurd?
Lord Laozi, acting as if no one else was around, walked up to Wukong, picked up the Vajra Axe, wiped it several times with his robe sleeve, and shouted, “You reckless monkey! How dare you come to my heavenly court and cause trouble? Today I’ll refine you! Once refined, see how you can still act so arrogantly!” With that, he rolled up his sleeve, enclosed Wukong inside, and then turned away, floating away unsteadily.
Seeing Lord Laozi take Wukong away, the immortals in heaven felt much relieved. With the culprit gone, even if the Jade Emperor wanted to admit fault, there would be no one to hold accountable.
Tathagata’s face turned red and then pale. If he had used his powerful divine powers, he would have captured Wukong long ago. But instead, he tried too many fancy tricks to subdue everyone at once, only to end up in trouble and let Lord Laozi reap the benefits.
Yet, as the Buddha, he understood the bigger picture. He clasped his hands together and bowed to the Hall of Clarity, declaring loudly, “I came here by order of the Supreme Deity. I failed to achieve anything and nearly brought shame to him. I feel extremely guilty.”
The Jade Emperor said from within the hall, “The Buddha is kind and upright, serving as a role model for all immortals. Now that the demon monkey has been captured and the demons on Flower-Fruit Mountain are scattered, let’s hold a banquet in the Jade Pool. Would it be alright if the Buddha rested here for a day?”
Tathagata knew these were just polite words from the Jade Emperor, so he immediately replied, “I dare not accept rewards for no merit. There are still demons causing trouble in the Western Heaven. I’ll return now.”
It goes without saying that the Jade Emperor still ordered the Lingguan and Yisheng to see him off.
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The Golden-Winged Roc left the heavenly court like a bird freed from its cage, flying joyfully to Mount Ling. Thinking that Tathagata was not there, it planned to wreak havoc inside and disrupt peace.
As soon as it reached the foot of Mount Ling, a bhikkhuni stepped forward to block it, asking, “Where are you coming from, Great Roc?”
The Golden-Winged Roc didn’t answer and rushed straight inside. When it reached the mountain gate, it saw three thousand Ksitigarbhas, each armed with weapons, guarding tightly from top to bottom. The bhikkhuni shouted from behind, “Great Roc, don’t be reckless! The Buddha has already ordered us to stop you from entering the hall. If you’re sensible, leave quickly!” The Golden-Winged Roc sneered, “Whose mountain gate or hall is this? What right do you have to stop me?”

He swung his halberd and charged forward. Jiedi was merely an ordinary guardian deity—how could he stop him? In just a few moves, he cleared a path. Ahead, he encountered the Eight Vajra Kings, who stood blocking the way with their demon-subduing staffs. The Golden-Winged Roc snapped, “You wretched opportunists! Today, I’ll smash Buddha’s throne just to vent my anger!” Its form shifted rapidly; it flashed through the air several times before slipping through the gaps in the staffs. At the entrance of the Great Thunder Sound Temple, five hundred Arhats were already standing there. These five hundred Arhats, with their diverse postures, gazed at the Golden-Winged Roc with eyes filled with compassion.

Realizing it was extremely difficult to enter the temple, the Golden-Winged Roc resolved to fight to the death. At that moment, the temple doors swung open, and two Buddhas stepped out. Seeing them, the Golden-Winged Roc was shocked, “Have you two also become Buddha’s accomplices?”

One of them said, “We are now tasked by Buddhism to guard Mount Spirit. Do not disrupt the order here. He will leave soon. Out of old acquaintance, I won’t capture you today.” The speaker was the Past Buddha, known as the Ancient Lamp-Burning Buddha. The other was the Future Buddha, the Laughing Maitreya, who also said to the roc with a smile, “We won’t capture you. Go ahead, just leave.”

The Golden-Winged Roc wished he could crush his silver teeth in frustration. He had planned to take something important from the Great Thunder Sound Temple while Buddha was away, but Buddha had anticipated this and brought out the Past and Future Buddhas. Realizing things would not go his way today, he stomped in anger and soared into the sky.

The Lamp-Burning Buddha and Maitreya exchanged smiles. Maitreya blinked and said, “Alas, a moment of foolishness ends wisdom… What a pity.” With that, he turned and returned to the temple. The five hundred Arhats quickly bowed in respect, but Maitreya didn’t even lift his eyes, just shaking his head as he walked. His large head paired with his round body looked quite comical.

The Lamp-Burning Buddha stroked his prayer beads and murmured, “As the saying goes, those with foolish hearts, deep affection, and sincere devotion share sorrow, joy, and downfall. Such genuine foolishness is indeed rare.”

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One layer below the thirty-six heavens of the celestial realm was the Jade Pure Realm of the Clear Subtle Heaven. In the Jade Pure Palace sat the supreme figure of Taoism—the Primordial Lord of the Jade Pure Sanctuary.

The Primordial Lord sat at the center of the palace. To his left was the Lord of the Pure Upper Realm, the Spirit Treasure Lord. And who else could sit on the throne to his right but the Supreme Lord Laozi? He wore neat robes, his face solemn, embodying the image of a sage with a Taoist aura—not a trace of drunkenness about him.

Recalling the last time the Three Pure Ones gathered, it had been a thousand years ago. These three had long transcended the great path, free from any distractions, so there wasn’t even a word of reminiscing between them.

At that moment, all three of their gazes were fixed on a monkey lying unconscious on the ground.

Yuan Shi took a look, shook his head, and said, “Indeed, it’s the Spiritual Intelligent Divine Monkey—no doubt about it. But what’s so extraordinary about this time?”
Laojun smiled without answering, instead turning his gaze to Lingbao Tianzun. Lingbao said, “Why are you looking at me? In my approach of teaching without discrimination, this monkey’s aptitude is truly top-notch. His passion is rare—nothing short of excellent.”
Laojun nodded slightly and said, “You two senior brothers have lived in the palace for so long, often retreating in seclusion for thousands of years, so naturally you have no time to pay attention to such trivial matters. You must know that this reincarnation of the Spiritual Intelligent Divine Monkey is very different from previous ones. He has had some astonishing insights in this world, often saying things that shock people. The term ‘aptitude’ really doesn’t fit him well.”
Lingbao Tianzun asked, “Then what should be used?”
Laojun replied solemnly, “Unparalleled talent!”
Yuan Shi wasn’t convinced and asked, “Is that all?”
Laojun continued, “He’s very good at winning people over, yet he never harbors any schemes. He always convinces others with reason and touches their hearts with emotion. In military strategies and planning, he has repeatedly defeated the heavenly armies without any trace of arrogance.”
Yuan Shi nodded and asked, “Anything else?”
Laojun said, “Among his eight brothers, each is one of the top demons of their time, yet they all obey him. This time, when attacking the heavenly court, he made quick decisions, took care of his brothers’ families, and left alone to hold back the enemy. What do you think of such courage?”
Hearing this, Lingbao Tianzun clapped his hands lightly in approval and said, “To be so loyal and righteous is truly rare.”
Yuan Shi frowned and asked, “Isn’t it a reckless move?”
Laojun shook his head and said, “By no means. Even when he first mastered his skills, he was able to pierce through the world-creation technique of Patriarch Subhuti. During the battle with Buddha in the Hall of Enlightenment, he even escaped from the realm within Buddha’s palm—how could that be mere luck?”
Yuan Shi Tianzun raised his eyebrows. “Is that really true?”
Laojun nodded and said, “If not, how could I have brought him here? The realm of the Three Pure Ones has been quiet for so long—should we unlock it for him this time?”
Lingbao Tianzun suddenly asked, “Is this boy a Buddha or a Taoist?”
Laojun was stunned and shook his head.
Lingbao asked again, “Don’t know, or neither?”
Laojun still shook his head.
Yuan Shi Tianzun said, “Your younger brother is deluded. Whether it’s Buddhism or Taoism, it ultimately leads to the Great Way. A Zen mind or a sacred heart—both are the true heart.”
Lingbao was stunned for a moment before shaking his head with a wry smile. “Recently, observing the fate of the world, I’ve grown worried. According to your words, worry is selfishness, right?”
Laojun smiled and said, “Your senior brother is still the same as before—seeing things in black and white, which isn’t the right answer.”
Lingbao Tianzun said angrily, “Chaos itself is the right answer!”
Yuan Shi nodded slightly. “This time, you’re right.”
Lingbao was astonished. After a brief thought, the three of them burst into laughter at the same time.